Single and Loving It: Living Life to the Fullest

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Years ago, people used to raise eyebrows at women who chose to live alone. Maybe some people still do. You might think it is absurd for me to plunge head on in the single direction and want to live for the rest of my life in singular bliss. Of course, I might be in assisted living someday, so that would negate my concerted desire to live alone.

Every morning when I take my half mile swim in Barton Springs and feel the cold water washing over my body, I give gratitude for the way my life keeps giving me inspiration, fulfilment and joy. When I practice Yoga, the stillness of my life brings me spiritual sustenance. If you had known me decades ago, you would have seen a woman manically in search of a relationship, in search of togetherness, in search of a soul mate. I was lucky that I found a man who remarkably matched my sensibilities in all the ways I thought important — body, mind, and spirit.

When my partner died, I knew he would have wanted me to keep moving forward, to experience everything I desired, to stay close to my sons and grandchildren, to study, to be curious, to read and most important of all, to write. My partner never saw my aspirations come to fruition, but it is enough for me to believe that his energy and inspiration infuses my choices and cheers my decisions on to this day.

When I lived in Los Angeles, there was an online magazine called Singularity. The idea was to offer ideas, suggestions and activities to encourage singles to live a happy and fulfilling life. The real intent of the magazine was to dissolve the stigma of living single. I poured through the contents of the magazine for a while.

In the beginning of my single journey, I was fascinated by single women in their 30s, 40s and 50s. They were fearless and powerful figures. I wanted some of what they had because for most of my life I had wanted a live-in sexy buddy no matter the terms.

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It all began to change after I retired. I began to feel me in all my glory. Know what you want to achieve for each stretch of your life, and make sure to look back and see if you actually made the progress you wanted.

Ellie Goulding - Love Me Like You Do (Official Video)

Live for others. Maintain an internal locus of control.

"We’re having a blast and are happy to be enjoying the single life."

Which one will you choose? Not because its morally wrong, but because jealousy is a destructive emotion. Its not jealousy — they genuinely care for us. But people living the life society tells them to live get scared when they see others going for it. It creates a culture of conformity, mediocrity, and quiet desperation. The only way to avoid failure is to not try anything. Overcome fear of failure by visualizing the worst case scenario. A great way to overcome fear of failure is to confront your worst possible nightmare. If you try it and fail, what is the worst thing that will happen?

Write it down, then write down what it would take to get back to where you are now. Sure it might make you feel better about yourself, for the moment. But it can have negative ramifications, both internally and externally.

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Ever notice how insanely emotional youtube comments are? Yet these are almost always opinions about things that have absolutely no effect on their daily lives. Yes, there are shitty things going on in the world. Change things. You can make a difference — once you stop dismissing yourself.

Time to put up or shut up. Take care of your body. Your only connection with this world is through this fleshy meat vehicle we call our bodies.

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Take good care of it. Take care of your mind. Stop feeding it a constant stream of junk. Even the news can rot your brain with its constant barrage of negativity and biased sensationalism. Plan for the future, but live in the present. Find a way to enjoy life as you work towards bigger and better things. Live consciously. We all get into ruts and routines we use to get through the day, but we only have a limited number of days on this earth. Always ask yourself — why am I doing this? If you wake up too many mornings in a row without a good answer, then its time to make a change.

Overcome your fears. We all have things in our lives, whether its our circumstances or personal flaws that are holding us back from doing thing we truly want to do. You can either accept it, rationalize it away, or face your fears. Improve your social skills. Some people are natural social butterflies.

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Improving your social skills will also help you in whatever line of work or business you choose. Do work you love. Life is too short to fear Sunday evenings. Follow your effort. Passion often comes from doing something well. Prepare to win. If you care about winning, do the work. No matter how strong you are, no matter how rich, no matter how beautiful, no matter how smart, no matter how talented, no matter how loveable, there will always be someone better than you. In the end, we all end up in the same place — wherever that place may be. Love your parents and cherish them.

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Happiness comes from self-actualization and meaning. Pleasure is important to a happy life, but pleasure alone is not sufficient.

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If you smile , you will be happier. Improve your posture Did you know that your posture and body language not only shapes how people see you, but it also shapes how you feel about yourself? While stress is, simply, a fact of life, reducing and lowering the amount of it has significant benefits. Being single also means you can date and meet more types of people than you could ever imagine. The world is your dating pool. With a slew of free dating apps like Tinder and OKCupid, it has never been easier to find and connect with people you wouldn't bump into on the street.

You meet new people at the grocery store, mall or out on the town. A large portion of your friends want to play matchmaker and set you up with someone, so there is no shortage of exciting experiences for you. As an added bonus, singles get to share some of the most insane and hilarious dating stories with their friends. You know that drunk-in-love honeymoon phase? The one where sex is frequent, mind-blowing and you're booty-rocking everywhere? When you're in a relationship, that eventually tapers off, requiring more effort and work to maintain. You're not having sex because it's Tuesday night, and that's your night to have sex.

Single people rock. The duties of the day aren't split, and no one is keeping score over who did what or worse, who didn't do what. On the emotional front, you don't need to explain why you feel a certain way. You feel what you feel. Independence is an extremely attractive and gratifying trait.